Friday, December 31, 2010
The fall always seems more like a new year to me, but this year, with the job ending and all, I guess it does feel like a new beginning more than usual.
My resolution is only to go forward without fear. That's it. I will continue to do everything I can, every day, to support my family, to nurture my children, to love my husband, to stay healthy, to help my friends, to foster peace.
Looking back on the last two years, they have certainly been dramatic! And not in a good way! But I have learned a tremendous amount, made many new relationships that I am lucky to be able to maintain, gained confidence in myself and my skills and found realms of interest that are entirely unexplored, very exciting! I would like to work in social justice, environmental activism, peace, civil rights, politics. I could not do any of that without the experience that I garnered at the church. For that, I say Thank You.
I wish them success and health. I wish them more connection with one another, more understanding of each other's point of view and freedom from fear.
And in fact, I wish the same to you, dear readers, wherever you may be.
May peace prevail upon the earth.
Friday, December 10, 2010
Wednesday, December 08, 2010
Getting on the stick!
I have a lot on my plate in the next couple of weeks. Don't you?
- Keep knitting and spinning for gifts (more important than ever!)
- Bake 3 trillion cranberry breads
- Submit resumes to anything interesting, especially as referred by friends (thanks, everyone!)
- Clean the house ready for the tree
- Do all the regular stuff (13 more days of work, 2 of those at home, 4 mostly singing
Am I counting down?
Of course, I will still be singing and I treasure the fact that I won't lose any friends or contact with anyone regardless of the office situation. I love so many people there!
And I plan to volunteer for the things I would have before: Vacation Bible School, Carnival, spring recital, even the theater group. I cannot walk away from those kids, they are so amazing!
But new opportunties are percolating and they are very exciting. But no jinxing!
My DH sent me to hear Mel Brooks interview Dick Cavett last night and it was hilarious, although it was more Mel than Dick, which was fine! Mel sang "Springtime for Hitler" in the style of Sinatra, Carl Reiner had to get up from the audience to tell how the Two Thousand Year Old Man came to be, a great evening. Thanks, sweetheart!
Tuesday, December 07, 2010
Driftglass gets it right
He's talking about the country, of course, and I'm talking about my church but I have found that my church (and the unpleasantness there) has many, many similarities to our national situation.
We have a leader who is extremely fearful (Bush). Who always makes the wrong decisions (Bush). Who kowtows to the wealthy and powerful (Obama). Who does not want to fight for any discernable principle (Obama). Sheesh.
At any rate, this part is exactly right:
What y'all gonna do now?
h/t Driftglass, go and read the whole thing, it is brilliant!
Sunday, December 05, 2010
I did not enjoy that
And I should have, really. I mean, wasn't I just telling everyone how righteous indignation was a comfortable emotion for me, one which I had strived earlier in the week (and succeeded) to move beyond?
Why is it that people insist on telling us things that make them feel better and us feel worse?
Luckily I am old enough to realize it when it's happening instead of later on, when it's too late to unhear whatever it is.
I found myself today confronted by one of the people who chose to reduce my hours at work to such a tiny number that I found myself unable to remain employed there. Confronted, mind you, rather forcibly, since I had assiduously avoided this person for days.
Now, I get it, as I have said. Budget cuts, personnel is the largest part of the budget, egos must be stroked, the wealthy must be mollified. Fine. What I did not want was to have to listen to the most aggressive member of the Committee tell me how they came to the decision and how hard it was and how they feel bad and how I shouldn't take it personally. And on top of that, how no one thought I would quit! Heavens no! No one even mentioned it in the meeting, too outrageous!
That last part is a bit of hyperbole (on my part) but the gist was a lie. A flat out lie which I think would have stood had I not challenged it then and there. It was recanted an hour later, so was I right or was I wrong?
What I'm glad about is that I called him out on the lie. I also told him in no uncertain terms that the reason I didn't want to talk to him about it was because the conversation was for him, not for me. He wanted me to understand him. I don't care. I do not care. Tell the world! Tell your dog! Tell your pastor, for goodness' sake, but do NOT tell me.
If the conversation is for me, ask me how I'm doing. Ask my how my husband is. Ask me what my plans are. Ask me if we're okay for Christmas. Give me a chance to tell you what's going on. Say you'll miss me. Tell me you hope we can still be friends. Suck it up that I'm unhappy with you and give a little. Ahem.
It reminds me (deeply) of experiences I had when I was younger with people who were involved with EST who had to "clear" with people, which meant say everything nasty they had ever thought so that it was off their shoulders. Heaven help the person "cleared" at!
It has been a rough week for me and now I need to calm down, get back to cleaning up and clearing out, prepare for Christmas at home with my lovely little family, our first year with our own tree. I cannot let any of this ruin any more days. And so I won't. I'd appreciate it greatly if no one else ruined my day for their own purposes, thanks.
Friday, December 03, 2010
Go ahead and laugh. I can take it.
Are you a person who told me I should go on Facebook?
Did I scoff? I'm sure I did. "I'm a Twitter person," I said. "Facebook eats your life."
Or even, "I talk to you every day! Why do I need your web updates?"
Now, keep in mind I am a Twitter lover and I have an internet fiber community (Ravelry--go now) that eats my life already, so the whole life-eating thing is really okay with me. But Facebook? Why?
Then I started a page for work. Then I uploaded some photos. Then I looked around a bit and friended my current RL friends. And commented on their status. And posted on their wall. And started messing around with my profile and, well, the rest is history!
I'm having a great time reconnecting with old friends, networking, finding new things in common with best buddies and, especially, learning a whole new system. And you know how I love a learning curve!
OKC: I have now finished 4 Christmas gifts (knitted) and half of one more (spun). I need to take pictures but this week really got ahead of me. I'm taking a bit of time to regroup over the weekend and expect to sit down at the wheel and make some good progress. Baking is up next!
[Oh, dear, I seem to have developed an exclamation point tic tonight. I'm sure it will pass.]
Wednesday, December 01, 2010
Are there stages of quitting?
I seem to have progressed successfully from sadness to anger. I'm waiting for relief next, then peace. We'll see if I get there if I don't know whether I can pay the rent or not, but I think relief is pretty imminent.
[My dog is going crazy!]
Obligatory knitting content: working on another Christmas gift but don't want to spoil it. I have taken pictures of 2 out of 3 teacher gifts but have not yet uploaded them. Been a little busy...
Thank goodness my husband is being so nice about everything. And the kids. And my parents all. And everyone really that I've been spending time with. I love you guys!