Tuesday, December 22, 2009

The family seems to have taken off...

On their second attempt.  Although the first attempt was aborted before anyone even got up in the morning so it wasn't too bad.  Here's hoping they don't end up stuck anywhere along the way.  They did give up an extra stop when we changed, too,  so that's good.

The wind is incredible here today!  

This is just a quick post to say...well...sometimes one can be too helpful?  Maybe?  

I have a fabulous job which I love.  I have had this job since April.  I should have known better than to screw around with it.  But it wasn't my idea and I was just trying to help, really.  But having the s**t hit the fan today, instigated by me somewhat looking for better and clearer communications,  was probably a good thing.  My thoughts about it are clearer,  I feel less guilty, I've been heard and that's important.  

Working in the non-profit sector, one is often asked to do things without compensation or to do more than one would in another situation.  I'm sure this happens in the for-profit world as well, but there are rules about overtime and such everywhere that come into play.  But in the for-profit sector, there is no guilt about working overtime, unless you're taking a lot of time away from your family.  In the non-profit sector, especially if the institution is something that you believe passionately in and really want to help to grow and thrive, the boundaries are less easy to set.

However, boundaries are necessary, aren't they?  Everywhere.   Starting with no, I need to go home and study now; proceeding to no, I need to have a little joy in my life while I'm pregnant and exhausted (that was when I started to take every other Friday off); and then, no, I can't nurse you every 20 minutes all night long forever.  Followed by, no, I can't volunteer for everything all the time, but I will do these specific things every week all year.  Followed by, apparently, no, I can't work 35% more hours for no more money.  Yes, I will work overtime and make it up later when we're not busy.  Yes, I will be there when you need me, when I can, even if it's a lot and not convenient.  And yes, I support your mission in every way possible.  But I cannot make 35% more hours for no more money work out in any way that I don't come in angry every day.

And the thing is I come in happy every day.  I come in early and happy!  I love my job and it's perfect just the way it is.  Overtime and high expectations and emotional investment and everything, I love it!  I love my co-workers and bosses, I love my office!  What I will not do is throw away all the happy for any amount of money.  So, sorry, guys, I think I shall have to decline in the end.  I hope you find another way to work it out, I really do, and I'm happy to help when I can.  When I can.  Not when my kids need me, not when I should be sleeping, not instead of volunteering at school or at scouts, not instead of making homemade chicken soup for dinner, not instead of knitting or spinning or reading or watching TV with my dear, dear husband.  Not then, no, not then.  But when I can, I will.  And I guess now you know that when I can't, I won't.  

Boundaries are good.  Boundaries are necessary.  Boundaries are hard.  

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