Sunday, December 05, 2010

I did not enjoy that

And I should have, really. I mean, wasn't I just telling everyone how righteous indignation was a comfortable emotion for me, one which I had strived earlier in the week (and succeeded) to move beyond?

Why is it that people insist on telling us things that make them feel better and us feel worse?

Luckily I am old enough to realize it when it's happening instead of later on, when it's too late to unhear whatever it is.

I found myself today confronted by one of the people who chose to reduce my hours at work to such a tiny number that I found myself unable to remain employed there. Confronted, mind you, rather forcibly, since I had assiduously avoided this person for days.

Now, I get it, as I have said. Budget cuts, personnel is the largest part of the budget, egos must be stroked, the wealthy must be mollified. Fine. What I did not want was to have to listen to the most aggressive member of the Committee tell me how they came to the decision and how hard it was and how they feel bad and how I shouldn't take it personally. And on top of that, how no one thought I would quit! Heavens no! No one even mentioned it in the meeting, too outrageous!

That last part is a bit of hyperbole (on my part) but the gist was a lie. A flat out lie which I think would have stood had I not challenged it then and there. It was recanted an hour later, so was I right or was I wrong?

What I'm glad about is that I called him out on the lie. I also told him in no uncertain terms that the reason I didn't want to talk to him about it was because the conversation was for him, not for me. He wanted me to understand him. I don't care. I do not care. Tell the world! Tell your dog! Tell your pastor, for goodness' sake, but do NOT tell me.

If the conversation is for me, ask me how I'm doing. Ask my how my husband is. Ask me what my plans are. Ask me if we're okay for Christmas. Give me a chance to tell you what's going on. Say you'll miss me. Tell me you hope we can still be friends. Suck it up that I'm unhappy with you and give a little. Ahem.

It reminds me (deeply) of experiences I had when I was younger with people who were involved with EST who had to "clear" with people, which meant say everything nasty they had ever thought so that it was off their shoulders. Heaven help the person "cleared" at!

It has been a rough week for me and now I need to calm down, get back to cleaning up and clearing out, prepare for Christmas at home with my lovely little family, our first year with our own tree. I cannot let any of this ruin any more days. And so I won't. I'd appreciate it greatly if no one else ruined my day for their own purposes, thanks.

Peace.

3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I want to staple this quote to someone's face!!!

"If the conversation is for me, ask me how I'm doing. Ask my how my husband is. Ask me what my plans are. Ask me if we're okay for Christmas. Give me a chance to tell you what's going on. Say you'll miss me. Tell me you hope we can still be friends. Suck it up that I'm unhappy with you and give a little. Ahem"

That's what is so disgusting - noone cares about YOU. (Well, I do.) badbadbad.
Love you honey. My ear is always open.
J.

10:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

And you know the funny thing? They are ALL supposed to be Christians. Haven't we been taught, as Christians, to love, to look after one another, to help when and where we can, to always have a kind word no matter what. It disgusts me completely. My church is no longer my church. It is no longer my place for worship or peace or quiet. And now, I have to watch out for those Christians that might not actually be Christians. Those in positions of power. Those that worry more about "mollifying" the wealthy and don't give a shit about me or my family or what will happen to the programs when they lose you as a staff person.

And, of course, at the VERY least....could one of those Christians perhaps have said "I'm so sorry. We will miss you horribly"?

Feh. And it's Christmas. I time when my church has been such a wonderful place to be. I'm heartbroken for you and for me.

So, as a member of this church, please let me say....I am so sorry. I will miss you horribly and I will miss all of the wonderful work you do there and your beautiful smile and your lovely, loving spirit. I'm so glad that at least they have not robbed me of your beautiful voice or your dear, dear friendship.

Like with your other J, my ear is always open and my shoulder as well. And yes, I will continue to stand up and leave before the sermon because a man, a pastor, a Christian, who could treat my beloved Wendy this way, does not deserve my ear or my presence.

So there.

xoxo, J (the other one)

9:04 AM  
Blogger sopranospinner said...

I must say here that there have been quite a few people who have said they're sorry to see me go, asked if we're okay, said they'll miss me. I will never forget their kindness as long as I live.

The others, I agree, feh.

Peace.

9:07 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home

The Spinning Wheel
Join | List | Previous | Next | Random Powered by RingSurf
Knitting Wendys
Join | List | Previous | Next | Random | Previous 5 | Next 5 | Skip Previous | Skip Next
The Spinning Wheel
Join | List | Previous | Next | Random Powered by RingSurf