Not really whew...

Employed for another month--they froze everyone not already leaving.

Very unpleasant and difficult meeting. Everything I do was brought out and deemed valueless by someone. Of course, someone else always piped up to disagree, so great thanks to all the supporters!!

We shall see. Trying to stay calm and happy regardless while surrounded by angry, upset, worried, nervous people. Literally surrounded.

Peace.

After all that?!?!

Tomorrow night I find out if I have a job or not. Yikes!

Of course, my plan didn't work anyway. I worked a LOT on Monday and worked at home with a sick child today. Will be there 8 hours tomorrow.

At least I got some stuff done today!

Wish me luck.

ETA: That's what I get for saying "I'm in control!" I have no control over any of it! Should have known that would bite me in the ass.

May peace prevail upon the earth (and in my office).

Is it time to say "No?"

Well, yes, it is.

Political Correctness stops me.

But this is it, I tell you, "finally and forever." No more.

I am in a situation where I cannot decline, but under normal circumstances I most definitely would. I need to suck it up and enjoy it as much as possible. And I will. I've decided to knit whenever I don't have to do something. And believe me, that will be most of the time. And so I will somehow benefit from it, I guess.

But I dearly wish that I could listen to my "say no now" radar and decline to participate at all. Ho hum.

However, the next 10 things anybody asks me to add to my schedule, I say no. Unless I drop something else. I'm going to think of myself as an overscheduled child who will have a meltdown if I do One. More. Thing.

So.

Today is pretty bad.

Tomorrow less so. Next week, I will undercommit in every direction possible, and it won't be too hard since my daughter is away at Science Camp all week so I don't have to do her stuff. I will probably do more work at home. I will relax and carve out some time for myself, regardless of my level of empathy for those around me who have gotten themselves into worse situations than mine. This week, I am in control.

Thank you for listening!

May peace prevail upon the earth!!! And in my office!!!

"I'm ambivalent."

A phrase my parents taught me when I was barely speaking, I guess to amuse their friends. It must have been funny, though!

But I am a bit.

The last ten years were the first ten years of motherhood, which has been just the most amazing experience of my life. My children are thriving, intelligent, healthy, a joy to my life and cause of much consternation (of course).

The last ten years have been something of a political and social awakening, however, and not for good reasons. The Bush Years, starting with the Supreme Court appointment of the President, through the worst terrorist attack on American soil, through the heartless reaction to Hurricane Katrina, straight on through the things we are still learning about torture and politicization and pointless war. I became a high-information voter, a blogger, a writer of news (with a left-leaning bias, admittedly), and a videographer by necessity to stop my head from exploding.

My relationships have had their ups and downs but seem to be going in a good direction. I have certainly clarified what I think my purpose is here in the world and in my community. And I have come to many conclusions about how I would like my life to be going forward.

So, although I am not making any resolutions to break and be disappointed in myself (honestly, haven't we done enough of that?), I do have hopes for the Tens or the Tweens or whatever they are:

• I hope my children turn out well-adjusted and find something that they are passionate about to do.
• I hope everyone around me knows how much I love them.
• I hope my marriage grows in love and friendship
• I hope that the people in power in our country find a way to be truly compassionate, to work for the common good, to remember "the general welfare" is in our founding documents, to shine some light in the dark places that will shame us, but sterilize us as well.

And I hope for you, my dear readers, that your Tweens are healthy, happy, joyous, fulfilling, fun, challenging and whatever you want them to be!

May peace prevail upon the earth.